GTA: Hell on Wheels Guide



 

"Welcome back to Sunny San Andreas! The year is 1999, Bill Clinton is in the whitehouse, a school shooting has rocked the nation, and everyone is awaiting the world ending Y2K bug.
Amid the hope of a new millenium comes the hopeless tale of Snake Williams and the Desert Cobras motorcycle Club, whose path of revenge will lead him to a conspiracy that will rock the outlaw motorcycle underworld..."


Contents


Snake Williams Rides Again
Venturas Run
Palomino Chainsaw Massacre
Escort Service
Robbing Wu-zi Blind
Payback
Road Rash
Hot Shot
Accidents Happen
This Means War
Putting the “Fun” in Funeral
Sharp Shooter
Trouble in Pair-A-Dice
No Sleep ‘Till Bikefest
The Amazing Disg-race
A Lot like Waldo
The Shootout
The Superbike
Native Uprising
Modern Warfare
Swashbuckler
Hide and go Sheikh
Deal Breaker
White Boy in the Hood
Nobody F*cks with Us
Very Bad Things
Beer Run
Bastards!
The Battle for Hilltop Farm
Trojan Trailer
The Green Movement
When the bough breaks
Liberation Milice
Fighting Violence with Violence
Deal with the Devil
Infiltrator
Mint Condition
Departing San Fierro
Thunder Run
Showdown
Epilogue
Hail to the King
Newsworthy
Daredevil
Bikefest
Hidden stuff & Easter Eggs

 



 



Snake Williams Rides Again

Snake is greeted at the clubhouse by his old club buddies Animal and Rusty, whom invite Snake out to the strip club. Follow them down to the Big Spread Ranch, at which point Animal will spot a rival club on your turf.


If possible single out the Pair-a-dice Rider with the knife and kill him first, as you can use the knife to stealth kill the others while they fight your friends. Once you finish killing them you’ll find $50 in their pockets, however you’ll get a wanted star and the Cobras split up.

 

 



Venturas Run

Snake returns to the clubhouse to find the Cobras President, “Pops” speaking with an unknown native figure. Pops says he’s too busy to lead a poker run to Las Venturas and asks Snake to lead the pack in his stead.


Lead the pack to Caligula’s Casino in Las Venturas. The fastest route on road may be the highway north, however if you’re impatient you can leave the pack and blaze a trail through the desert on your own. Once you reach the entrance you will be asked to enter, once inside head down the stairs and a cutscene will ensue. The Pair-a-Dice Riders don’t like the Cobras on their turf, and threaten a beating. Animal responds by shooting one of them dead, to which a gunfight erupts on the casino floor (similar to the real life Laughlin River Run incident). The Riders are easy to dispatch, however the police arrive and pose a bigger threat. Leave the casino and run to the Clowns Pocket or other casino savepoint, save your game and the cops should be off your tail. Now you can choose to return to Fort Carson, or stay in Venturas and see what the Mafia has to offer a gun-for-hire such as yourself.

 

 



Palomino Chainsaw Massacre

The manager of Caligula’s casino, Leone Family Underboss Vito Vento, finds Snake on the Venturas strip. He gives Snake a chance to make amends for shooting up his casino by giving him a job. His daughter is dating some dirtbag from the Bastards! Motorcycle Club in Los Santos, and he wants to send a message to everyone that she is off limits.


Travel to Palomino Creek where you will find a chainsaw hidden in a garage. Vito wants the message to be messy, so if you kill the target with any other weapon the mission will fail. Go up the hill to Hanky Panky point where you will find the Bastard! Romeo in the back seat of a car with Jina Vento. He will make a run for it, at which point you should switch to unarmed so you can catch up to him faster. If he makes it to the bottom of the hill he will have a couple friends waiting to back him up so try and knock him down with your fist, but finish him off with the chainsaw.

 

Escort Service

Vito Vento has another chore for Snake to take care of. His trouble maker son Vinnie is coming to town and he wants Snake to act as his guardian angel and personal chauffeur for the duration. Sounds easy, right?


Go pick up Vinnie at the airport, at which point you will be allowed to drive his car. Keep it in as good a condition as you can, this car needs to survive the entire mission. Take Vinnie to the store in Redsands East to get some smokes, and go inside. A robbery will take place, at which point the gunman will attempt to rob Vinnie. The player has a couple of seconds to draw a weapon on the gunman, to which he will turn his attention to the player. A headshot will make for a quick resolution, then exit the store. Upon escaping Vinnie suddenly feels the need to visit a stag shop. Take him to the Sex Shop XXX off the strip, once inside wait for him to approach the front desk. The clerk happens to be an angry Ex-girlfriend of Vinnie, and attacks him with a dildo. Attack her before he’s seriously hurt and she will run away, than exit the store. Now Vinnie wants to visit the strip club behind the Come-a-lot casino. Shortly after arriving Vinnie comes running out, and an angry pimp and hoe begin firing on the car. Speed away to safety, and Vinnie will want some cocaine from the Pair-a-Dice Riders. Snake offers to get him some instead, but Vinnie doesn’t intend to pay. Take him to the V-Rock Hotel and wait for him to score some coke, when he gets in the car get ready to race out of the area. Two monster trucks as well as some motorcycles will chase you, but the hard part is the police attention the altercation draws. Make your way to the pay-n-spray and lose your wanted level, then it’s just a pleasant drive back to the Airport where Vinnie decides he’s done with Las Venturas.

 

Robbing Wu-zi Blind

Vito Vento has seen your potential and trusts you with a bigger task, this time he wants you to be the muscle in a casino robbery. Wu zi mu and his triad ilk are cutting into the Leone casinos profits, and he wants to send them a message.


Go pick up Jimmy Legs and the other mobsters at the Royal casino and drive them to the Four Dragons, then head inside. Once inside the Mobsters will confront a Triad guard, who will either be shot or will give up and allow the group in. While the Mobsters are robbing the vault the player will have to fend off a couple of waves of Triads. They carry some heavy firepower, so get some cover. When the mobsters reappear with the cash, clear a path to the front door and head outside (watch for the extra two guards blocking the entrance). Get in the car before the police arrive, making sure that Jimmy Legs makes it inside. Escape the police and then drive them to the High Roller, where they will promise to give you your cut of the cash at a later date.

Payback

Vito meets up with Snake, who demands to see his cut of the money. Vito says that the money has been left in the trunk of a car and that Snake can pick it up any time.


Travel to the plaza in Pilgrim where the car is parked. It’s an oddly asian looking area considering you just finished robbing a Triad casino. Exit your vehicle and approach the car on foot. It will explode, but luckily earlier than it was supposed to leaving Snake very much alive. The player now has the choice to hunt down Jimmy Legs and steal back his cut of the heist money, or forget the money and kill Vito Vento for revenge.
If the player chooses to go after Jimmy Legs, he can be found driving around Prickle Pine. Attack his car and he will get out and open fire, at which point you can either shoot him down or just run him over. This outcome results in getting $10000, and is easier than the Vito method.
If the player chooses to go after Vito, he can be found hiding out at the High Roller casino. There will be a guard out front of the escalator steps waiting, dispatch him from a distance. Crouch and keep your aim ready as your go up the escalator, so you can get the drop on Vito and his goons as your line of sight peaks over the edge of the top step. After killing his guards you’ll find Vito cowering at top, kill him and the outcome is $2000 and access to the Elvis mission later on.

Road Rash

Snake finds Rusty working on a motorcycle out front of his trailer and asks for some firepower. As an arms dealer Rusty doesn’t feel right just giving them away, however he considers doing it if Snake can beat him in a friendly race around Bone County.


The race starts easily enough, Rusty has trouble with the initial traffic which should give the player a chance to pull ahead. It’s only once you get to the hill up toward the plane graveyard that you realize the problem; Rusty has played a trick on you by giving you a motorcycle that stalls. To fix the bike just get off then back on and start racing again. As you come to the top of the hill a Pair-a-Dice rider will come riding out from behind a car-lot trailer, and he will attempt to disrupt the race. Shortly after the engine will cut out again, get off and back on same as before. The race continues until you have to make a sharp turn toward Las Brujas, and once there your engine will cut out again. Same procedure, then keep going up and toward Fort Carson. When you’re just past Regular Tom the player will get a message to slow down, do so and take the cave route next to the cliff edge in order to cheat Rusty (payback for the stalling bike). The tunnel will take the player directly to the Desert Cobras Clubhouse and will win you the race. The new weapons can be found behind the clubhouse and beside the garage, and they will respawn over time.

 

Hot Shot

Snake meets Pops at his farmhouse, but the news isn’t good. The Sheriff is out to put Snake back in jail, and the Mayor is trying to crack down the Desert Cobras MC itself. Pops has a solution, and asks Snake to kill them both with a rifle he planted on the roof of town hall.


Head down the path to the end farmhouse and steal the stuntplane. After taking off the town hall roof will be marked on your radar, get a good altitude and jump out of the plane when it’s directly over the yellow marker. Float down and try to land on the top platform, but it’ll still work as long as you are close to the rooftop. The Mayor and the Sheriff can be seen talking below, however the rifle Pops left only has one bullet. If the player shoots the Sheriff, he then must run down the Mayor and kill him in order to finish the mission. If the player shoots the Mayor first, he then must contend with the sharp-shooting sheriff. The best solution is to take aim at the gas tank of the Mayors nearby SUV and blow them all up…with one shot. Completion of this mission will grant a highly reduced wanted level for crimes in Fort Carson.

 

Accidents Happen

Snake approaches Pops as he talks to a yet-unknown government agent. He leaves and Pops tells snake that an Angel of Death, Psycho Sid, is coming to “party” with the Desert Cobras. Pops is wise and knows that Psycho Sid is actually coming to size up the Cobras for an eventual take over. Snake is asked to go meet the Angels of Death scout and have him killed…the catch is it has to look like he died in an accident so the Cobras can’t be blamed.


Drive up to the Regular Tom and wait for Psycho Sid, who will arrive in typical AoD fashion by running over an old lady. A cutscene ensues, after which the player is prompted to “recruit” Psycho Sid like a gang member. Once he is following, the player has many options in which to get him killed:


1. By Train – It is possible to have Psycho Sid wait on the tracks until he is hit, but that takes patience…
2. By Air – There is a helicopter parked up near the Big Ear, use it to fly to a ridiculous altitude then bail out…There’s only one parachute.
3. Suicide by Police – You can easily get Psycho Sid to take on the Police, or get him killed quickly at the nearby Area 69.
4. Chicken – Drive a car at him quickly then bail out at the last second, but this takes good timing.
There are lots of other ways if you use your imagination, these are just a few examples that work. Once he’s dead the Desert Cobras should be safe.

 

This Means War

Snake approaches as Pops talks with Rusty and Animal. Pops greets Snake warmly, thanking him for getting the Sheriff and Mayor off the Desert Cobras’ backs. Suddenly Pops is shot dead, Rusty spots his killer on the hillside and the three give chase.


Follow Animal and Rusty or race alone toward the Assassin, who happens to be waiting for you in the quarry. The Assassin is inside a large dumptruck which threatens to crush you and your tiny motorcycle, so dismount and get some cover. A few snipers secure the area, look up at the conveyor belts and structures to pick them off if they’re causing you trouble. Quickly line up a clear headshot on the Assassin inside the dumptruck, and if your aim is true the mission will end.


The Desert Cobras discover the assassin is from the Violence Machine MC, a club from far away with no ties or grudges against the Cobras. Snake is puzzled, but suggests there is no alternative but war with the VMMC.

 

Putting the "Fun" in Funeral

Pops funeral service is almost over and the Desert Cobras are ready to take him to his burial plot. The funeral home staff refuse to drive the hearse however, due to rumours that fighting might erupt at the funeral. Snake volunteers to drive Pops to his final resting place…


You’ll start the mission in the hearse, try not to damage it before the mission really gets started. The mission assumes you’ll be taking the long route to the strip, then down toward the Julius Thruway. But if you want to bypass some of the action, you can drive straight out of the church driveway make a left and go straight under the bridge and around to the intersection. Once you’re at Thruway the Pair-a-Dice Riders will ambush the funeral. Several bikes will give chase, arriving at various times. There’s a sniper on the billboard at the intersection as well as a couple monster trucks, so don’t stick around long. Another Pair-A-Dice monster truck will be waiting for you on the other side of the mako span, but he’s easy to dodge. Just race to the graveyard in Palomino Creek without the hearse bursting into flames and you’re home free.


After the funeral, Snake is approached by Chief Hill of the Native Warriors. He claims that Pops was helping him, and offers you work as well.

 

Sharp Shooter

Snake finds Animal and Rusty behind the clubhouse in a heated discussion. Snake and Rusty believe that they need retribution against the Violence Machine MC for killing Pops. Animal rejects the idea and states that the Pair-A-Dice Riders disrespected the Cobras for the last time and have got to go. Snake and Rusty don’t like Animals attempt to take charge, however taking over Las Venturas once and for all would certainly help the club bounce back from the death of its leader.


You’ll start the mission in front of the Freemount Casino, enter the red marker and you’ll be taken to the balcony where Animal has left a rifle. When you get the rifle you’ll want to crouch and aim between the trees toward the North end of the street. The President of the Pair-A-Dice Riders is leading a pack on a poker run and you’ll get one chance to pick him off mid-drive. This can be tough, as the target will be moving behind a row of trees, but you’ll have a few chances before he gets away. Just don’t leave the balcony, if you’re spotted the mission is over. Once you’ve made the shot, follow the balcony back the way you came and there’s a way down into the parking lot without being seen.

 

Trouble in Pair-a-Dice

Snake meets Animal and Rusty behind the strip, and he hears the rest of the plan. The Pair-A-Dice Riders have been using the V-Rock Hotel as a clubhouse, and they have a mobile meth lab in an RV around back. Rusty gives Snake a Pair-A-Dice bike and outfit and Animal explains that Snake can use them to sneak into the V-Rock grounds and destroy the Meth lab.


You’ll start the mission in a cowboy biker outfit riding a Gambler. Ride to the V-Rock hotel, park the bike and walk up the staircase. You can walk past the Riders as long as you don’t draw attention to yourself. Follow the path past the pool and down through the tunnel to the back courts. When you approach the meth lab RV you’ll be prompted to use an IED to blow it up. Keep a distance and do so from the back so the guards can’t see you. Once it’s destroyed a Rider on the hotel roof will alert the others. Fight your way out, or just hop the fence and escape down the highway.


With their President dead and their primary source of income destroyed, the Pair-A-Dice Riders give up their turf to the Desert Cobras. Desert Cobras will now spawn (rarely) within Las Venturas.

 

No Sleep 'Til Bikefest

Snake arrives at the clubhouse to find the Cobras gearing up for Bikefest, a yearly motorcycle rally in Bayside. Animal insists the club must attend as a show of strength, however Snake feels revenge on the Violence Machine is of greater importance. Animal convinces Snake that members of the Violence Machine will be at Bikefest, and they can be shaken down for information.


The mission itself is very straight forward, you’ll follow Animal and the Desert Cobras to Bayside. Rusty and Snake will discuss the current state of the club, while Animal questions Snake about his early release from jail. Sometimes Animal will lose his way and get caught in a loop, if this happens you can simply drive to the Bayside parking lot yourself to complete the mission.


Now at Bikefest, you’ll be able to save your game at the Bayside Bed & Breakfest next to the vendors area.

 

The Amazing Disg-race

Animal gets Snake to sign up for the big Bikefest race, with the clubs reputation on the line. Snake and the Vendor have a brief exchange about Y2K, which is interrupted when one of the Bastards! MC brags that his Nitrous will make him the clear winner.


This is a simple race, filled with characters you’ll see later in the game. When the race starts the Bastard! will hit his Nitrous and explode, so steer clear of the burning bike as it WILL explode again as you pass by. After that the rest of the race is pretty smooth sailing, it’s a winding path around the town and back to the Marina. The other racers will have trouble making the turns, so you should have no problem winning unless you fall off your bike.


Snake wins the race, and while on the winning podium he is introduced to Frenchie Laroche, famous Dare Devil turned outlaw biker. Frenchie is impressed with Snakes riding ability and wishes to party with him during Bikefest. If the vendors were closed before, they will be open now.

 

A lot like Waldo

Snake brings Frenchie back to meet the Cobras. Rusty is on the ground tripping out on LSD, which he shares with Snake. During the conversation Frenchie reveals that he knows Mean Jean, President of the Steel Roses MC. They are also enemies with the Violence Machine and could help the Cobras find them. Snake jumps at the opportunity, however the acid begins to kick in…


This mission can be frustrating if you don’t know where to look. Mean Jean is hidden in Bayside without any radar markers, and the drugs will make the screen colourful and harder to navigate. Just head straight over to the staircase at the clothing shop, right where the big Bikefest signs are located on the main strip. Approach Mean Jean to complete the mission.


By this point Snake is too high to maintain a conversation, so Frenchie speaks for him. Mean Jean, being acquainted with Frenchie already, agrees to meet with Snake when he sobers up. The next morning Snake wakes up in a dumpster after a night of “chasing a purple dog”.

 

The Shootout

Mean Jean is untrusting of the Desert Cobras, and wants Rusty and Snake to help her and Frenchie ambush the Violence Machine at Bikefest to prove their commitment. Snake and Rusty agree to storm the beach while Frenchie and Mean Jean out flank them from the cliff above.


This can be a very difficult mission if you charge in like Rambo. Pay attention to the red markers on your radar and try to plan around the enemies line of sight. You’ll find the VMMC camped out on the beach, and some rocks block you from sniping them off from a distance. Use crouch in order to “roll” from side to side around the first corner and ambush the first biker. Sneak up the beach further and you’ll see some more of them firing up at Frenchie and Mean Jean. Use the element of surprise to kill them before they can fire back. Watch out behind you as you approach, as there is another biker hidden up on the rock waiting to ambush you. Once you’ve cleared out the area, some reinforcements come up the beach. Watch for the guy on the Skinfist, as he will come flying out over the rocks and dismount with a sawnoff shotgun. If you manage to survive this final onslaught, the mission is complete.


Mean Jean is impressed with the Desert Cobras, and invites Snake to the Steel Roses MC Clubhouse to further discuss their mutual Violence Machine problem.

 

The Superbike

Maibatsu is revealing a new Superbike to the crowd at Bikefest, who gaze in awe. Due to obvious security reasons (Outlaw bikers are thieves), the bike is shown from a distance. Animal wants the bike and pays Snake and Rusty to go fetch it for him.


Recruit Rusty and then hop into the water and swim over. It may seem slow going, but it’s faster than driving all the way around. Kill the two guards before trying to steal the bike, otherwise they’ll pop your tires as you make your escape. Once on the bike you’ll earn a 5 star wanted level, but it will drop to 4 as you leave the scene of the crime. Take offroad routes as much as possible to avoid the law, but watch out for ponds and rivers that’ll ruin the bike. A lil’ bike riding skill and this mission should be a breeze.


The Superbike will now spawn near the Clubhouse. If you’ve already beaten the Native Warriors missions, you’ll be able to continue. Otherwise, go get those done now.

 

Native Uprising

Chief Hill claims that Tierra Robada belongs to the Native Americans, however the American Government disagrees. The Native Warriors began a peaceful protest in the form of the Garver Bridge blockade, however it has no escalated into a full out uprising (as evidenced by the civilians and police being assaulted in the streets). The Chief asks Snake to go to the Blockade and cause more chaos, and when the news cameras see a white man causing problems it will shift public opinion over to the Natives Warriors cause.


Drive over to the blockade at Garver Bridge. The protesters there are already armed and ready for a battle with the police. Cross over to the government controlled side of the bridge and you’ll get a quick 4 stars. From there you have lots of options in which to gain the last 2 stars, a rocket launcher or tank really helps if you can find one ahead of time.


Snake gets the media attention required, but is now stuck with a full wanted level. Make your way to a save point if you want to live.

 

Modern Warfare

Chief Hill is awaiting a secret government operation to take out the Native Warriors uprising and asks Snake if he wants to become a hired Mercenary. Despite his patriotic nature, Snake can’t say no to a good fight and cold hard cash.


Make your way to the rendezvous point, stop in the sphere and you’ll be taken to the top of the foothill. Grab one of each of the weapons at the edge of the cliff (the flamethrower is important for tank busting), then approach Chief Hill. He will thank you, then it’s off to battle the governments black ops. You’ll start in a Tomahawk, but you’ll want to bail out before you get too close to the tank fire. Also stay away from other vehicles, as they may explode at any time. The Native Warriors will back you up, but be aware of friendly fire from the rocketeer. The key is to keep moving. Technically you just have to kill the tanks, but you might find it easier to take out the soldiers first. Once you’ve blown up the tanks with the flame thrower, you’ll have to race back to Chief Hill who is now under attack. Once there use the sniper rifle to pick off the three snipers on the opposite mesa. Next you’ll be driving the Chief to Aldea Malvada, heading down the right side of the hill toward the bridge. As you cross the bridge a tank will advance on you, swerve to avoid him and then take the left path up the hill (if you continue straight you’ll never arrive). A military helicopter will give chase as you make your way, as will a handful of soldiers however they aren’t a problem if you keep pace. Once at Aldea Malvada you’ll exit the vehicle and the Native Warriors will give you a mini gun. Use it to take out the helicopter, but watch it doesn’t crash on you. Next soldiers will advance from the south and the east, mow down the cars before they unload their passengers. You’ll notice their markers won’t disappear until the next wave, so it’ll be harder to tell who’s alive or dead. If the tank is still on your ass, just hide behind a broken wall and he’ll smash himself up. On the next wave focus on the East flank first, then the south. When this wave is dead, just make sure the last Helicopter comes down and you’re golden.


The government will now think twice before messing with the Native Warriors, who now regard Snake as a folk hero. As a token of his thanks, Chief Hill gives Snake a Longbow Tank, which will now spawn at the Clubhouse. If you’ve completed the Bikefest missions, you can now continue the storyline.

 

Swashbuckler

 

Snake runs into Rusty at the Fort Carson firing range. Rusty informs Snake that there’s a shipment of riot equipment coming in to help quell the native uprising, which the Cobras could use to help decimate the Violence Machine. Snake gets the message and goes to hijack the shipment, while Rusty goes to find a way to transport it.Head south to the Dinghy that Rusty has left for you, and use it to sail to the cargo ship. When you reach the entrance you’ll be treated to a cutscene informing you that the crew is heavily armoured, so only Headshots will count. Board the vessel and slowly creep around the containers. The guards will only attack if they see you first, so try to get the jump on them. Make your way down to the lowest deck, but be careful of crew members hiding around the corners. Once you’ve secured the weapons crate you’ll be asked to head to the top deck. There you’ll find Rusty who has managed to steal a Cargobob to transport the goods. Now you’ll be at the back of the boat, and you must “push” the crate to the helicopter. You can run in order to push it faster, but you run the risk of getting crushed by the crate which will slow you down. If you take too long the helicopters will open fire, and if you take any longer the swat team will begin boarding which makes things very difficult (so time is of the essence!). And be careful, the box CAN explode which fails the mission.Once the crate is near the helicopter Snake and Rusty load it up and head back to Fort Carson. MP5 and Body Armor will now spawn around the clubhouse. 

Hide and go Sheikh

The Desert Cobras have a trailer in Fort Carson where they cook meth, and Snake sees Animal fleeing from inside. The meth lab explodes (apparently due to an error in Animals cooking method), and the two cobras look on in shock. The loss of drug sales could hurt the club, so Animal sends Snake to Los Santos to meet a hookup for chemicals.


You’ll be given money for a plane ticket, you can use it or keep the money and drive to Los Santos. Once in the city the emblem of Islam will appear, and that’s where you’re headed. You’ll meet up with Sheikh, a former Rollin’ Heights Balla that now controls the Los Santos drug trade. He gives you a truck full of chems, and offers you work in the future. Once you get in the truck a few cars full of Grove Street thugs some after you, so drive carefully to the trailer park in Las Colinas. Panhead Jack and a couple other Desert Cobras are waiting there to take the truck the rest of the way to Fort Carson for you. But first you have to deal with one final onslaught from Grove Street. Kill the attacker from the north-east first, as he will cause the most damage, then finish off the rest. The game will also inform you about Gang Mule trucks, which can be hijacked for random goods.

 

Deal Breaker

 

Snake takes up Sheikhs offer and visits him at Alhambra. While in the VIP room Snake is introduced to Sheikhs partner in crime B-Dup, as well as the actor Adolf Swartzenhaggen. Sheikh explains that the Russian Mob in San Fierro wants to become part of his drug network, and he wants Snake and B-Dup to watch over their first deal together.


At the start of the mission you’ll just be riding on the back of a dirtbike while B-Dup details Sheikhs Ballas history. When you reach the observatory the deal will be ambushed by Grove Street thugs. You’ll have to defend the bike from several thugs on dirtbikes as B-Dup makes good your escape. As you come to the east side of the hill the bike will be ambushed from up front, but don’t worry about them focus on the thugs on your tail. B-Dup will turn around and head south to the highway, try and take out the thug on the log before he does too much damage passing by. When you hit the main streets the Cops will give chase, just keep them off your back until B-Dup can lose them.


 

White Boy in the Hood

 

Sheikh is upset, Grove Street gangsters are jumping his dealers and he’s losing money. He has decided to go take care of things personally…with Snake and B-Dup there to do the actual work.


Just follow Sheikh and B-Dup as they drive around checking on the drug dealers. The first one is fine, but the second is under attack. Jump off your bike and take care of the situation, then get back on quickly. As Sheikh heads through the ‘hood more Grove Street thugs will come in a car and attack, and they do a lot of damage quickly so take them out fast. Sheikh and B-Dup will try and make a getaway, however they are cut off on the bridge over Grove Street and lose control of the car. Follow them down into the cul-de-sac and a cutscene will ensue. Sweet and some GS thugs come out of their houses to see the commotion, and take the opportunity to kill their long time rivals. Snake feels threatened and knocks out Sweet with one punch, when this happens the cutscene will end. Be ready to run for cover, as you’ll be surrounded and under fire. Either take out the thugs, or just run for it (once you’ve escaped the families turf, the mission is complete). Completing the mission will add a Desert Eagle spawn at the clubhouse.


History has repeated itself. Much like the Loco syndicate, Sheikh’s drug cartel has been silenced by Grove Street families.

 

Nobody F*cks with Us

 

Snake is greeted by Adolf at his mansion, and he offers Snake some dirty work. Adolf is tired of being an actor and wants to move into Politics, however the leader of a local motorcycle club has some incriminating evidence on him. If Snake takes care of the problem, there’s money to be had.


Head to the Bastards! MC clubhouse under the highway overpass and approach Roach. Snake will demand the evidence, but is confident in his own element. Go out and use the nearby payphone to call some Desert Cobras to help, and recruit them when they arrive. When you return with some backup, Roach will be intimidated and hand over the photos.


Adolf’s reputation is saved...for now…

 

Very Bad Things

 

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Snake finds Adolf in a panic, and discovers that he’s accidentally killed a prostitute. Wanting to avoid a political death sentence, he asks Snake for help. Snake says the Desert Cobras have a place to dump bodies that need to be forgotten.


You’ll start the mission in Adolfs Hummer, the dead hooker is laying in the back. Try to avoid getting close to cop cars or you’ll get a wanted level. As you’re heading out your attention will be drawn to a police helicopter that’s following you. Get out of the car and take it out before they notice the dead hooker. Get back in and continue driving until you reach Bone County, at which point a news van will pull up behind you and snap a picture of the dead hooker in Adolfs car. Chase down the van and retrieve the camera. Now it’s smooth sailing up north to the Desert Cobras body pit.


It's necessary to complete Adolfs missions to finish the storyline

 

Beer Run

Snake arrives at the Steel Roses clubhouse in order to get the info he needs on the VMMC, but Mean Jean wants Snake to do her a favour before she helps him in return. Her girls are thirsty, but don’t feel much like paying for beer.


Go to the old Truck Terminal in Blueberry and hijack a rig. Now go to the shipping area of the beer factory and pick up the trailer. It’s facing a wall, so it’ll be harder to escape with it attached to the truck. It’s a good idea to get out and push the trailer until it’s facing out toward the road, it’ll make your exit much quicker. Shortly after the trailer is hitched, you’ll earn a 4 star wanted level. Race back to the Steel Roses clubhouse, but be careful not to jackknife the trailer.

 

Bastards!

Mean Jean is happy with the free beer, but Snake just wants his end of the bargain. Mean Jean strings Snake along a little further by offering him a cut of a Securicar heist. Not one to pass up money, Snake agrees to help.


You’ll start the mission on a billboard overlooking the bank lot. It’s a good vantage point, but you don’t have to stay up there if you prefer not to. Just don’t get too close to the Securicar or you’ll spook the driver. Sniper off the guard who’s talking to the Steel Roses first, if you don’t there’s a good chance he’ll kill Mean Jean and fail the mission. As soon as he’s dead the driver will try to drive away, wait for a clear shot into the window and take him out. Snake and the Roses will enter the Securicar, at which point you’ll be in driveby mode. The Bastards! MC had also planned on stealing this Securicar and are now furious. Keep your wits about you as you’re heading down Vinewood boulevard, as both the police and the Bastards! MC will be after you (oh how those Bastards love their molotovs!). Making it back to the Roses clubhouse in one piece shouldn’t be too much trouble. The game will now inform you that you can steal Securicars and bring them to your clubhouse for cash.

 

The Battle for Hilltop Farm

Mean Jean is finally ready to stop stringing Snake along and tell him the information he needs, but suddenly the Violence Machine are spotted coming to attack. If Snake wants to find the leader of the Violence Machine, he’ll need to help Mean Jean stay alive.


You’ll only have a few seconds to get situated before the VMMC arrives, so get a rifle ready. Try to kill as many of them as you can before they dismount from their bikes. Once the first wave is dead the second wave will flood in from all sides. Be sure to stay close to Mean Jean and watch the back of the farm, don’t let her get killed. The third wave is small but by this point everyone will be on their last legs so stay vigilant. Don’t forget to check for enemy bikers in the tree line as well, there are no markers and you have to kill them all to win.

 

Trojan Trailer

Mean Jean is impressed, as she didn’t expect Snake to help defend the clubhouse. She tells Snake what she knows about the Violence Machine, and offers up a plan to strike a crippling blow against them.


Mean Jean has taken the beer trailer you stole earlier and filled it with troops. Rusty has also come to help in the fight, so don’t jackknife the trailer or you’ll kill them all. Drive (carefully) into Flint County, then drive slowly like pedestrian traffic. What you’re trying to do is allow a Violence Machine pack to find and hijack the truck, you can even stop and wait for them but make sure you’re not too close to water (if they fall in and die they’ll lose your trail). When they arrive they’ll open fire, so stop the truck and let them take it. You’ll automatically follow the truck to the hidden Moonshine farm, enter with caution as there are a couple of bikers patrolling the bushes between you and the farm. Use your surroundings for cover and try to sneak up on each enemy, headshots will save you from a counter attack. Once things are clear head over to the back of the trailer and let out your friends. More Violence Machine bikers will arrive, lead by their Vice President Wild Bill. Take out his minions, then focus on Wild Bill himself.


Mean Jean thanks the Desert Cobras and stays to take over the farm as a new clubhouse. Now that Snake knows where to look for the VMMC leader Beardo, he asks Rusty to meet him at the gas station outside Angel Pine.

 

The Green Movement

Curious about the massive treefort on the side of the highway, Snake takes time to investigate. He is greeted by Kirk and Donny, two hippy drop-outs who fight in the name of mother nature as the “Eco Warriors”. They attempt to recruit Snake, who isn’t interested until the prospects of drugs are involved.


The Eco Warriors give you 4 tasks to complete, which can be done in any order. Take the long trek down the stairs and start with the closest first.


1. Fallen Tree: Enter the lumber yard and destroy their lumber truck. After it blows up you’ll notice that you’re locked into the facility. Grab a nearby dirtbike and drive up the staircase and onto the rooftop. Use the ramp to reach the shipping containers on the other side. Climb up the boxes and you’ll find a ramp truck, drive it down and position it against the entrance blockade (or any fence) and jump out. Get clear of the area and you’re done.


2. Easter Bay Chemicals: Enter the chemical plant and you’ll be given a camera. There are some toxic barrels illegally stored behind the main building (with the large smoke stacks). Once you take the picture you’ll get a 3 star wanted level. Get clear of the area and you’re done.


3. Toxic Sprunk Well: In Montgomery there is a water well hidden in the middle of town (Behind the inside track betting). It’s been polluted by the nearby sprunk factory, take a clear picture (without the fence in the way) and you’re done.


4. Green Palms: Enter the oil refinery and you’ll be prompted to plant explosives at various locations. Each one you plant will earn you an higher wanted level. Start with one of the towers in the back corner and make your way around in a semi circle. If you’re willing to wait between explosions, you can do this without as much police attention.

 

When the bough breaks

Snake returns to the Eco Warriors for his reward, however Kirk and Donny have already smoked it all. Snake, already not a fan of hippies, decides to teach them a lesson about paying your dues…


You’re objective is to plant explosives around the tree fort. It can be hard to tell exactly where the markers are telling you to go, so just wander around a bit. There’s one near the lounge chair, one in the middle (opposite side of the weed table), near the parachute at the back, in the bedroom at the top, and one down the ladder in the storage area. The storage area should be the last one you hit, grab the parachute at the back of the fort first if you need it. After planting the last bomb you have a choice of either trying to climb back up the ladder by jumping at it, or parachute down to the ground. When you’re ready head to the top of the staircase to watch the fireworks begin.


Snake never gets paid, but that explosion sure was satisfying. Completing the mission will add a Launch spawn at the clubhouse dock.

 

Liberatiòn Miliçe

On his way to meet Rusty, Snake comes across Frenchies bike outside a junkyard. The guy really gets around, but something doesn’t seem right. Snake goes in to see what’s going on.


You’ll have a time limit on this mission, Frenchie is currently getting his ass kicked by Violence Machine bigots and you need to get to the top of the trash conveyor to save him. Avoid the bulldozer and kill the two guards at the bottom of the conveyor. Don’t bother going up the conveyor itself, as the top part is blocked. Instead find the narrow ramp/staircase going up from underneath. Watch for more bikers around the corners on each of the landings as you go up. Once your at the top kill the enemy in the control room and the attacker outside (making sure not to hurt Frenchie any further).


Frenchie thanks Snake for rescuing him and insists that he is in his debt. Frenchie continues on his way to San Fierro, and Snake to meet Rusty.

 

Fighting Violence with Violence

Snake waits for Rusty at the gas station, and he arrives shortly after with a handful of Desert Cobras. Everybody is ready to kill Beardo and wipe out the Violence Machine on their own turf. Revenge for Pops, however Animal is strangely absent.


Head out to the trailer park in Angel Pine, once there you’ll have to take out a small group of bikers. Next drive down the street to the VMMC chop shop. Once you’ve taken out the guys outside and on the roof, you can kill the guy inside through the crack in the garage door. Inside the garage you can find a rare spawn of The Duke. Next head down the street to the parking lot behind the church. Damage the enemies bikes and they’ll come running, and you can mow them down. Now you’ll be taken to the outskirts of the Violence Machine clubhouse with Rusty. As you approach a couple of bikers will come to attack, so be ready. Also look out for the sniper next to the shack on the hill overlooking the clubhouse. Also be aware of the biker in the meat locker and the one inside the cabin (whom can shoot at you through the windows).


Rusty and Snake clear out the clubhouse, but there’s no sign of Beardo. He must have gotten word of their arrival and went into hiding, but Snake has an idea where to look.


There’s a second half of the mission, but don’t worry. If you die you can restart from this point when you retry. You’ll be placed on a dirt bike at the bottom of Mt. Chiliad. Don’t hesitate once you’re able to go, because there’s a helicopter on your tail armed with rockets. He’ll chase you up the mountain, but if you keep a good pace you can lose him about half way up. If you manage to make it that far you probably won’t see him again until you’re near the summit. When you get to the top the weather will force the helicopter to crash, killing Beardos goons. Beardo himself is waiting for you at the mountain top, when the battle begins keep behind the van for cover. Let him take a shot, then pop out and shoot him while he’s reloading. When you’ve hurt him bad enough he’ll jump on his bike and flee. At this point you’ll have to race him down the mountain to where you started. You can fly off the edge of the mountain, so feel free to cheat Beardo. At the end of the mission you can choose to kill Beardo for revenge and collect some cash, or let him live and have access to Beardo’s weapon stash.


Once he’s at the bottom, Snake hotwires a nearby car and parks it at the mouth of the mountain path. Beardo races down the path, and is unable to stop before slamming into the parked car. He gets up, but is clearly injured. Snake questions him at gunpoint, to which he confesses to ordering Pops killed on behalf of the Angels of Death. Snake realizes he’s been duped into hunting down the wrong culprits. Snake either kills Beardo for his involvement or lets the coward live, then returns to Fort Carson to tell the club the grim news.

 

Deal with the Devil

Snake runs into a chauffeur and limo sitting in a rather out of place location. The driver tells Snake to get in, that Mr. Blackheart has been expecting him. Snake himself however didn’t even know he would be there. Curious, Snake obliges and he is driven to Blackheart Estate.


First you’ll have to search the spooky old manor for Mr. Blackheart himself. Head down to the barn and break open the boards and smash down the hay stacks. Who knows how he got in there, but he seems to be expecting you and explains his last dying requests. His first chosen victim is an Epsilon tract cultist down at the cult farm. Just head down the hill and approach the target, he will try to convert Snake to Kifflom and will follow you. Bring him back to Blackheart and he’ll carve him up with an axe. Blackheart isn’t satisfied with one murder, and asks you to bring back another victim. The nearby plane makes the trip to Beacon Hill short, however the intended victim isn’t so cooperative this time. Snake needs to find a way to convince her to go on a date, so either offer her a gift (dildo) or just punch her in the mouth. Bring her back to Mr. Blackheart and again he gets chop happy. In his blood lust he decides to come after you, and proves to be unusually strong for a terminally ill man. Completing the mission will add an Axe (the most powerful melee weapon in the game) at the clubhouse.


After killing Mr. Blackheart he bursts into flames and vanishes, leaving the puzzling question of who he really was. His familiar, the chauffeur, comes to avenge him.

 

Infiltrator


Snake informs the Desert Cobras that the Violence Machine were acting under the control of the Angels of Death. Rusty is gung-ho for revenge, but Animal says it’s far too risky and tries to force Snake to back down. Snake and Rusty take a group of Cobras to San Fierro to attack the Angels of Death clubhouse, however they are stopped on the way by the FIB. The Desert Cobras are thrown in jail, but Snake is given a bargain by FIB Agent Smith. If he goes undercover and helps bring down the Angels of Death officers, all charges will be dropped against the Desert Cobras. Snake hates rats, but he reluctantly accepts the offer.


The misson starts by showing you the kind of dirtbags and psychos you’re dealing with, and must gather evidence against. You’ll be given Angels of Death member “Big Red’s” outfit and bike, just drive casually to the Angels Compound entrance and walk down the stairs. Follow the marker to find Kodiak in the chop shop. Snake asks for some Cocaine in order to incriminate Kodiak, but he sends Snake to Lil’ Toke instead. Grab the coke and bring it back to the FIB handlers in an alley behind Mistys. They’ll tell you they need more, so head back and ask Gunner for some weapons and then head right back to the FIB. Next they’ll put a wire on you and demand you record Lester Arnold. Head back to the compound and up to the clubhouse, there Lester Arnold will ask you to recover a suitcase from the Triads.


Head to Chinatown, when you approach the alleyway the Triads will exclaim their terror of the Angels of Death. Be careful around every corner, and watch out specifically for the guy on the rooftop right next to the staircase. At the top of the staircase and to the right there’s a shotgun Triad to watch out for. If you’re feeling lazy, you can also sneak in through the back way (a hole in the wall up and next to the old Chinatown safehouse). You’ll find the case empty, but a Triad leader will tell you the Russian Mob has it now. If you kill him a Kung Fu master will come kick your ass, if you leave him alone you can find the Kung Fu master doing Tai Chi in a small Chinese temple.


Now drive over to the Pleasure Domes, but beware the armed guard at the door. Once inside you’ll be brought to Alexei, who threatens to cut Snakes balls off. After confessing to being an FIB informant wearing a wire, they are forced to let Snake go. From here you want to make your way up to the rafters, try and pinpoint the top of the bar and jump down on top of it to find the briefcase. When you head outside with it you’ll have a few moments before Alexei comes chasing after you with a military helicopter. Keep moving in order to avoid rocket fire and follow the main road to the Driving School. Once there you’ll have to dodge missiles from Alexei while waiting for Frenchie. Sounds easy, except the cameras point of view is from the Helicopter looking down at the player. Avoid the explosions, and when Frenchie arrives use the Rocket Launcher to take the helicopter down (it’s dumbfire, so line up your shots carefully). This mission has checkpoints, so if you die you can restart the mission close to where you left off.


Snake returns the briefcase to Lester Arnold, and is now trusted among the Angels of Death MC. Snake can now also visit the News Station on Missionary Hill.

 

Mint Condition

Agent Smith berates Snake for blowing up a Helicopter in public and tells him the evidence gathered is useless in court now. He also happens to let slip that it was Agent Smith himself who had Snake released from jail early. His plan was to get Snake to cooperate where Pops would not, however after the assassination Snake took off on a cross country path of revenge (with the FIB finally catching up with him entering San Fierro). Not wanting another PR nightmare, Agent Smith gives Snake the easy task of taking pictures of the AoD Clubhouse.


The beginning of the mission is easy enough, just ride over to the side entrance of the Angels Compound and take a picture of the security camera above the staircase. Next go take a picture of the Chop Shop, then the Clubhouse. You’ll run into Gunner and Kodiak, and after a cutscene you’ll have to follow them on a motorcycle. During the ride you find out why Big Red (the guy you’re posing as) is in San Fierro, to crack the safe inside a Mint truck full of gold bullion. They also brag about how they set up the Desert Cobras to waste their time going to war with the Violence Machine, at which point they reveal the Desert Cobras have a traitor in their club. When you arrive at the mint Gunner and Kodiak will run in and attack, use the distraction to pick off as many guards as you can before they notice you. You’ll have to kill them all, so be sure to get the guy on the roof and the ones near the back slope. Once the area is clear you’ll have to drive the Securicar back to the clubhouse with Gunner while Kodiak follows on his bike. You’ll get an instant 5 star wanted level, and a cop will shoot out one of your tires (it’s unavoidable). Try your best to skate with the deflated tire back to the clubhouse.


Snake is told he did a good job, and to come back later to help break into the securicar vault.

 

Departing San Fierro


Snake enters the Austrialian-American war memorial looking for Lester Arnold...


The mission starts with a search for Lester Arnold, whom you’ll find mid-way down the second level. He talks to Snake about Loyalty, than asks if Snake is there to kill him. Snake denies it, Lester seemingly believes him and sends him out to meet up with Kodiak and Gunner for one final job. Head down the alleyway and cross the street, then head down the staircase. Kodiak and Gunner will confront Snake with Animal, exposing him as an informant. He confirms that he set up Pops so the Angels would make him President of the Fort Carson AoD Chapter. Gunner shoots Snake, who appears to be dead. Next you’ll be at Pops grave repenting, when suddenly Ghouls begin to rise from the dead (in case you’re confused, this is all going on in Snakes head. If he dies in the dream, he’ll never awaken from his coma).

Run out of the graveyard and into the town, and avoid touching the ghouls at all costs (all they have to do is bump into you!). Fire can kill them, otherwise save your ammo ‘cause even headshots won’t kill these zombies. Head over towards the bank, pass through the inside but watch out for the ghoul wandering around. You’ll come out behind the building, climb up the staircase and you’ll find Rusty behind a billboard. Once you’ve rescued him, go back down and to the next staircase down the alley. Jump from rooftop to rooftop until you find and rescue Frenchie. By this point the Ghouls will hopefully have followed you down to this end, so bypass them and run to the Diner where you’ll find Mean Jean hiding in a corner. You can also drop down from the skylight, but It’s risky as you could land right on a ghoul. Once you’ve gathered your friends take them down to the docks to take a boat to safety (you don’t actually have to bring them). When you reach the dock you’ll find no boat, and the ghouls will bear down on you. The lesson here is inevitability, Snake must learn that he can’t control the world around him. Suddenly Snake finds himself on top of a mountain and speaks to Pops, who convinces him that there’s a better life out there for Snake than the Desert Cobras can provide. Pops vanishes, and warns Snake to “Wake Up” before he hits the ground (you’ll see why, typical dream ending). Snake awakens to find the paramedics have saved his life, however there’s no time for thanks or first aid.

Snake informs Agent Smith that his cover is blown, but instead of help Smith lets the Desert Cobras rot in jail and cuts Snake loose. Now head over to the AoD Compound, head down the stairs killing the Angels on the way. When you approach the Bar you’ll be prompted to burn it down, and your weapon will switch to Molotovs which can be fatal in the middle of a gunfight. Burn down the Bar then blow up the Motorcycles parked along the wall. Then head over to the Chop Shop and destroy the Mint Heist money, and finally go burn down the clubhouse. Watch out for the grenade guy on the steps up. Once the place is trashed, track down Kodiak who is riding with a pack of Angels. You can either drive up behind them on a motorcycle and try to take out the convoy one by one, or get ahead of them and pick off Kodiak himself from the front. Just be aware that getting too close is suicide, and if Kodiak gets off his bike get cover because he’s a tank. When Kodiak is dead, head over to the uphill gardener and pick up Frenchie. You’ll be prompted to drive to the Desert Cobras clubhouse, but you’re better off just driving around the block until Frenchie finishes talking. He’ll bring up that Adolf Swatzenhaggen has won the election for Governor, so drive over to City Hall and barge into his inauguration. Snake extorts Adolf into releasing all the Desert Cobras, after which you’ll have to drive downtown to the police station and talk to Rusty. Once you’re done with Rusty, you’ll have to drive back to Fort Carson but now several AoD hit squads are on your trail. The bridges back to Fort Carson are also covered by RPGs, so be ready for them. Make it back to Fort Carson in one piece and them mission is complete.

 

Thunder Run

The Angels of Death are on their way to Fort Carson, and the Desert Cobras are totally outnumbered. Frenchie suggests calling on the Cobras allies, but Rusty insists it would take a “rocket ship” in order to reach them all in time. Snake says the Superbike he stole for Animal is the next best thing.


You’ll be playing out this mission on the Sayonara, so don’t wreck it. Take the train tracks over the river and ride off towards Las Barrancas. When you get to Chief Hills usual spot, you’ll be told he’s gone into hiding. Drive to the east side of the Bayside Tunnel, you’ll find a steep but clear path up the mountain on the north-east side next to a tree. Talk to Chief Hill camped out at the top, and he will agree to help if you do him one last favour. Despite his best efforts the “white man” is going ahead with building a strip mall on the natives farm land, so go over to the opposite hill and speak to the Native War Commission. They will hook you up with an old surplus military plane, which you will have to use to blow up 3 construction vehicles before they reach the farms. Take off from the farmland and head for the bridge to the north, this target is closest to reaching the end. Swoop down and blow him up, then head south towards the winding road next to the Dam. Blow up the dumptruck and then move on to the bulldozer which should be around Fort Carson at this point. When complete you’ll be back on the Sayonara, head to Hilltop Farm quickly but cautiously (if you wreck the bike it’s over). Mean Jean will promptly agree to help you in your fight, then it’s off to ask the Bastards! MC. Roach agrees to help if you find him “The Duke”, which you can usually find at the film studio parking lot (not the television one). Race it back and let Roach hop in.


Snake arrives back in Fort Carson just in time to save the day...

 

Showdown

Some of the Desert Cobras have gathered outside the clubhouse as they assess the situation. The rest of the Cobras are in the desert scouting ahead and have spotted the Angels of Death on their way. Snake decides to cut them off at the Las Brujas pass and force them into an unexpected showdown.


When the missions starts recruit Rusty and the Cobras, suddenly Frenchie will coming running up with word that the Angels are almost there. Recruit Frenchie, shortly afterward Chief Hill will show up with a companion. Be sure the people you recruit move from their starting locations, this is the cue for the each step. The Steel Roses appear to be running late, and the Bastards! broke their word and won’t show up at all. The Angels of Death show up, (one can only assume they killed your scouts) and it turns out the Steel Roses have switched sides. The battle starts immediately after the cutscene, it’s a good idea to crouch and move. Headshots will save your life here, and try to let your men take the damage (grab the health in the nearby graveyard if you need it). Once you’ve killed everyone (Steel Roses included) in the first wave, the second wave will start pouring in from the north and west. The third wave is much like the second, except Mean Jean will be in among the crowd. She’ll take extra damage, but shouldn’t be too much trouble as long as you see her coming. When she dies she’ll drop some much needed body armour. As soon as that wave is complete, Frenchie will alert you to an RPG on a nearby roof. Run for some cover, then peek out and shoot the enemy from afar. Lastly you’ll face Gunner, who’s equipped with a mini-gun. It’s best to stay out of his range as he can mow through full health and armour bars in an instant. He should start somewhere near where the Angels parked the bikes, so get some bearings on him then take him out from a distance. While you’re shooting him he will be stunned, so keep the gunfire on him to prevent any return fire. When he’s dead and the smoke clears Snake takes a role call of who’s still alive (you’ll be rewarded 10 grand for each member of your group that survives). Grab a bike and head back to the clubhouse in Fort Carson.


Snake and Rusty find the clubhouse burning, clearly the work of another group of Angels. At this point it becomes clear that the Cobras are finished, they may have won the last battle but there’s nobody left to fight the war. They decide it’s best to part ways and start new lives.

 

Epilogue

It’s now 2012 and Gordon “Snake” Williams has a new life. He gets ready to go to work and says goodbye to his fiancé, but is running late again…


As soon as the mission starts run east towards the old go-kart building (it’s an office/warehouse now). If you make it before 9 you’ll be welcomed, but if you’re late you’ll be chastised. Head to your desk and a cutscene will ensue in which a photocopier bursts into flames. Run over to the break room and grab the fire extinguisher, than put out the photocopier fire. Head back to the lunch room and Snake will complain to his co-worker that civilian life is boring (they make light of the parallel between Y2K and the 2012 Mayan Prophecy). Follow him out for a smoke break and he will dare you to mess up the bosses car. Grab the forklift beside the building and use it to flip the car. Come at it from the side, and if you’re having trouble try grabbing the tire with the forks and give it a good push or two. Once it’s flipped you’ll be treated to another cutscene where the boss flips out. During the commotion an unwelcome guest barges into the office, none other than Animal now in full Angels of Death colors. He threatens Snake, then shoots the boss when he tries to call the police. As soon as you’re able to move use the Fire Extinguisher to blind Animal and his goons. Run for the back door and follow the balcony around and down the staircase to safety. Run back to your house, you’ll find Animal is there and has kidnapped your “old lady”. Grab a gun from the shed, then jump on a bike and follow Animal to a parking lot outside Las Payasdas. When the confrontation goes from verbal to violent, everything will turn slow motion. Aim and shoot Animal in the head, you won’t have much time to spare. After killing Animal and avenging Pops, he realizes that the outlaw biker lifestyle is the only thing he knows. Snakes Fiancé begs him to stay , but he leaves her. Now you’ll find yourself back in Desert Cobras attire on a dock in the middle of nowhere. Walk up the steps and you’ll find the shack where Rusty has been hiding from the Angels.


Rusty can’t believe his eyes, his old friend Snake is back and wants to ride again. Although it is not concluded, it is implied that Rusty and Snake would rather die fighting as Desert Cobras than live in fear. The game ends with the games characters waving goodbye to the player, then returns you to freeroam. You’ll notice now that the Angels of Death can be found in all gang territories, pointing to the fact that their plan for hostile takeover succeeded. The events concerning the Angels of Death expansion and Lester Arnold leaving for Liberty City tie into the storyline of The Lost and Damned.

 

Hail to the King

This mission can only be done after completing all the Bikefest missions and Mafia missions, and only if you choose to kill Vito Vento (Revenge) over Jimmy Legs (Money). Snake comes across an old man in a retirement village who claims to be the real Elvis. He says he was sick of fame and fortune and gave his identity to someone else. He was supposed to trade back when it came time to retire, but he died on the toilet before they could make the switch. He promises great wealth if you can help him reclaim his rightful place. Unless he’s just a crazy bum with no shoes.


You’ll have to ride over to the strip mall on the east side of Venturas with Elvis on the back, but if you so much as touch something he will fall off and break his neck. Carefully make your way there, use the train tracks and sidewalks as much as possible. Patience is key. When you make it to the store Elvis will get some more kingly attire, after which he wants his old car back. Drive very cautiously to the used car dealership and steal his car back. Drive him over to the Pirates casino, Elvis needs to “take care of business”. Finishing this mission will make Teargas available outside the clubhouse.


Elvis enters the Casino to use the washroom. Snake gets tired of waiting and storms in, only to find Elvis is dead on the toilet…again. So much for the fortune, the contents of his wallet will have to do.

 

Newsworthy

Snake’s attention is drawn by a news reporter in need of help out front of the SAN news station. She explains that her boss wants her to get an interview with a class warfare terrorist known as “The King of Bumtown” or else she’s fired, but the reclusive hobo won’t agree. She thinks that a big biker like Snake could intimidate him into cooperating, and Snake agrees to help only after she offers a reward.


First make the trek from Missionary Hill to an alley off Bay street (not far from the ferry building), you’ll be stopped by two hobo guards as you attempt to enter Bumtown. You can either fight the guards, which will cause a few of the bums to attack you, barge in past them which yields the same result, or you can go up and around to the other entrance (you can see it on your minimap) and parachute down. Once you’re in go talk to the “King of Bumtown”, the infamous hobo terrorist turns out to be none other than Darkel. Snake tries to intimidate him, but he is clearly too insane to understand the gravity of the situation. After initially disagreeing, Darkel suddenly changes his mind and gives Snake a task to complete. Leave bumtown and follow the marker to a building a few blocks over, there’s a pathway/alley that leads in behind it. You’ll notice a wall separating you from a remote grassy area, hop over the wall and you’ll find an RC van. Turns out Berkley is helping Darkel in his class warfare. Drive the van out the alleyway in the wall and try to land on your wheels, the van is fully armored and will be useful in highjacking the Jumbo Jet. Drive to the Airport and approach the commercial jet on foot. Once inside use the runway to take off, then choose to either crash into the Avispa country club, or into Bumtown.


With the targets dead Darkel agrees to do the interview and Snake gets paid.

 

Daredevil

There are 4 Daredevil events in total, and you will need to be riding a motorcycle to start the mission. Each mission rewards $5,000 and finishing all 4 gives a whopping $50,000.


1. The first is located at the salt flats right across from the Lil’ Probe Inn. You’ll have to hit a ramp and jump over several gas tankers which will explode if you hit them. There are two ways to complete the challenge, either drive off the ramp with a Sayonara or HPV-1000 and clear the tankers OR because the last tanker is slightly to the right of the others you can hit the ramp with a slight left angle and you’ll land safely on the ground next to it (after which you can just drive into the ending sphere).


2. The Second is found at the Come-a-lot casino in Las Venturas. This one is tricky, you’ll have to drive from one side of the castle to the other while RPGs are fired at you. Keep moving, you’re better off going in a circle than stopping or trying to reverse. Drive up the first staircase, then one slightly to the left of the first. When you get to the top make a left around the middle pillar and follow it all the way around to the staircase on the right (it’ll be on your left now). Now drive relatively straight, over and down to the end.


3. The Third is located between the hanging shark and the music stage at Bikefest in Bayside. You’ll need to hit a ramp, jump through a ring, and land on a platform of floatsam in the water just big enough for a motorcycle. Hit the ramp at a medium-low speed, and try to manually move your camera so you can see downward toward the target platform. If you miss just swim around to the right side of the pier and there’s a ramp back up. It shouldn’t take more than a few attempts to find the right speed, and luckily there’s plenty of bikes to try again.


4. The fourth is found in the empty lot near the Pleasure Domes in San Fierro, however the event itself takes place on Kincaid Bridge. You’ll have to ride your motorcycle from one side along the rails to the other. The hardest part is getting on and off the starting block, otherwise just take your time.


 

Bikefest

There are several events the player can enter while at Bikefest, each one with cash rewards for winning. There are also some vendors of interest around the town.


1. Vendors: At the main parking lot you’ll find a gun shop, a tattoo tent and a car raffle. The gun shop sells a small selection of discounted weapons, the tattoo tent is empty, and you’ll need $40,000 to rig the raffle to win the car. It’s an F1 racer which will spawn at your clubhouse.


2. Pappa Wheelie: A simple wheelie challenge on a Warhorse, the start is found in front of the lighthouse. Make sure your front wheel is off the ground before you enter the first sphere and keep it up until you pass through the second. You’ll have to do this 3 times, the final run going all the way to the end of the path. It’s harder than it sounds, as you’ll have to avoid the crazy Bikefest visitors. You’ll win $100 for the first run, $500 for the second, $1000 for the third and $2000 for the last with a final total of $3600 for the event.


3. World of Watercraft: You’ll find the start for this event on the slope into the water. A deadly game of bumper boats, just sail around the inlet (don’t go out too far) and pump bullets into the other dinghy’s. Don’t let any of them bump you though, or you’ll explode. You’ll get $3000 for your efforts.


4. Close only counts…: The start of this event is found next to a crate of grenades in an back lot behind the main strip. You’ll have one grenade which you’ll have to throw at a moving vagrant, if he doesn’t explode you lose. To add to the challenge you’ll be drunk, and if you leave the sphere you’ll lose You’ll have 3 rounds to complete, if you miss and are out of grenades you’ll have to voluntarily leave the sphere. In the final round, try your best to throw the grenade ahead of the hobos path so he runs into it. The first round will win you $100, the second $400, and $500 for the last.


5. ATV crash course: You can find the start for this in an alley leading to the RV park. In this event you’ll race an ATV around a figure 8 style track. Not only will you be racing beside other bikers, but there will be racers coming from the other direction (Their start is your finish line, and vice versa). Just slow down on the turns and watch out for the racers coming your way, if you slam into one you’ll surely lose the race. Remember that even if you beat the racers going your way, you can still lose to the racers going the other. If you’re falling behind racers may also form a “wall” at checkpoints to try and slow you down. You’ll earn a swift $3000 for first place.


6. Fightclub: The start for Fightclub is in the center of the empty lot blocked off by construction signs. You must fight several bikers hand-to-hand without leaving the lot. The first few characters are easy, just keep jabbing or use a special attack. You’ll get to a Pair-a-dice Rider who uses Kung Fu, but shouldn’t be much trouble. Watch out for the Lost member with the Axe, as he can do a lot of damage if you give him a chance to hit back. In the final round you’ll fight the Angels of Death Sgt. at Arms (or a random Angel of Death after you complete “Departing San Fierro”). He’s got a lot of health and does a lot of damage, but still shouldn’t be any match for the jab technique. You’ll earn $100 for the first win, $400 for the second, $500 for the third, $1000 for the fourth, $1000 for the fifth, and $1500 for the last, making Fightclub one of the easiest ways to earn money at Bikefest.


 

Hidden Stuff and Easter Eggs

Mean Jeans house: At the south beach of Fisher's Lagoon you'll find a dock with a Vortex. Follow the path inland to find Mean Jeans house with a health pickup and vibrator nearby.




The sunken delivery: At the bottom center of Fisher's Lagoon is a truck with a box marked "Army" in back. There's a dead cop inside, and a minigun, M4 & Body Armor nearby. One can only assume this was a botched Steel Roses hijacking. Returning to the surface alive doesn't seem to be possible, but you'll keep the weapons if you die.




The Plane Crash: At the north-west corner of the map, near the summit of Bayside Mountain there is a plane crash. You can find a Heatseeker and Minigun there. It was part of a cut mission in which Natives Protesters shoot down a plane in which the band Love Fist is flying (to perform a show at Bikefest, hence the stage)




 

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